Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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