just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
