Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
