You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Let's get the cat blown out
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