Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
