I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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