A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
