I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
