Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
