There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I am in a vortex of obligation.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize