I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
