does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
