Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
