I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
