Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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