If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
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