shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize