32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize