hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
