Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
