and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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