I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize