Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
