I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Dear god my vagina.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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