What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize