Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It was confusing and full of hummus
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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