Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
