ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I need moral support for this bender
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
