We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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