If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
