just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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