i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
