i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
