And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
