You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
