I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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