either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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