I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
