I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Someone shattered a urinal.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
