then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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