Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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