this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
