dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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