I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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