Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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