And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
