Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
