My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
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