You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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