i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
COCAINE IS GR8
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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