What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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