saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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