is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
