the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
