Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
