i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
