So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My penis needs a shock collar
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
