Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize