So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
