Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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