loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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