So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
