Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
