We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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