I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
