This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Sober January is a disaster.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
