I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
