I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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