I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Randomize
