70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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