So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize