i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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