Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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