the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
