Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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