I think my vagina is haunted
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
