Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
