even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
