Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm at about main and main street
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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