I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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