i think i have two assholes
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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