The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
