Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
