He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize