Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
