addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
